A Rock in the Water
by Thesparklingnoodles
Summary: A young, blue-haired girl named Lapis gets to struggle with events from her past while dreading her part-time job as well. (The rating is based on themes presented throughout the story.)
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hello everyone! So, I recently got really into SU, and fell in love with the notion of Lapidot. Inspired by so much artwork I've seen, I decided to go ahead and write a cliché multi-chapter story based on the ship. To warn you now, I am rating it T based on how angsty I am prone making it, seeing as I am incapable of writing a truly happy story. Well, enough of me droning on. I hope you enjoy!**

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Another day drug on in the small coffee shop that she worked in. There was no competing with the more popular café that was stationed caddy-corner to this one. A small shop, locally owned by a family. At least it was a nice family, one that was willing to give the ever-brooding Lapis Lazuli a job. It was part time and minimum wage, but nonetheless, it was a job.

Occasionally there would be a rush at some point in the day, but it seemed that today was not going to be a lucky day. She looked down into the tip jar sitting next to the register. Lapis started counting out the money she could observe. _Let's see… that's five dollars and eleven cents._ She sighed. _It looks like I can get more ramen packets for dinner at least._

Lapis then went about and starting to do some general clean-up around the store, as it was nearing closing time. After she got done with some sweeping and mopping, the young adult ran a hand through her azure hair. She was going to have to find a better job if things didn't start getting busier around this place. She glanced over at the clock on the wall. The blank-faced clock that reflected her expression read 5:49. _Only eleven more minutes of nothing._

Lapis starting tinkering around with some spare straws, seeing how far she could link them together. As she crammed the fifth straw into the growing tunnel, she heard the soft chime of the bell attached to the door ring. She plastered a false smile onto her face and looked up to greet the customer. "Hello! How may I-" she stammered.

"Oh! Steven!" she chirped, greeting her old friend.

"Ha! Hey Lapis! How are you?" he chortled back, with a large, goofy grin on his face.

"Oh, I'm great! How are you? I haven't seen you in awhile," she replied, the false grin becoming a genuine one.

"I'm doing really awesome! Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, and I just got done with a, uh, vacation we were on!"

Lapis heard the hesitation in his voice before he gave a short explanation of where he had been. She decided not to push it though, knowing that the Universe family was an odd one.

"Well, I'm glad to hear that. Is there anything I can get for you, Steven? It's getting close to closing, and I don't want to have to stay longer than what I need to, cleaning these machines," she asked, gesturing to the typical coffee shop set-up. She glanced at the clock quickly and grimaced. If Steven really wanted anything, she would have to stay about a half an hour later to clean.

"Yeah, actually I do! Pearl sent me to get her a, oh what did she say… Oh, that's right! A herbal green tea," he replied, happy with himself for remembering the order.

"Coming right up, Steven!" Lapis replied happily, meaning she would have significantly less clean-up to do if he wanted, say, an Americano and the works.

"Actually Lapis, can I get a vanilla Americano too? I think Amethyst likes those. Or maybe it was Garnet," Steven blurt out.

Lapis sank internally. _This is going to be a long night, Lazuli,_ she thought to herself. She turned back to Steven with an ever-forced smile once more and replied, "Of course you can!"

After the coffee and tea were made, Lapis politely shooed Steven out of the store so she could clean the machines. As she got done cleaning, she checked out the schedule for tomorrow. The blue-haired woman sighed when she saw that she had the morning shift, at 5 a.m sharp. She glanced at the clock that seemed to be mocking her, and read 6:30. She sighed and locked up the store for the night, and headed home.

She stopped by the store for the ramen packets and bought herself a cheap pint of ice cream as well, as a treat for herself. She knew she should be saving her money up, but she did need to keep her mental health up. Her highschool years were not too forgiving on her, and they still played their part in her life today. She often thought of the people who bullied her. _What were their names? Jasper? Yeah, that's right. Who was the other one? Persi? No… Peri? Yeah! Peridot!_

She shuddered inwardly, resenting them still four years later for all that they had done. She had heard rumors that Jasper actually had apologized to everyone whom she had harassed, yet Lapis herself still hadn't heard from her. _Oh wait, I purposely made it to where she can't get ahold of me,_ Lapis thought with a slight grin. She really didn't want to hear her apologies, they would mean little to the bluenette.

She got so caught up in her thoughts that she stopped paying attention to where she was walking and walked right into the door to her apartment. Letting out a sigh of frustration at herself, she unlocked her door and let herself in. Lapis remembered that she had purchased some ice cream and from her slow walking, it had reduced down into a milky soup in the carton. She sighed and tossed it into the freezer, hoping it would solidify at some point in the evening. Being in the kitchen, she put a small pot of water on her stove to get ready for her measly dinner. She waited for the water to start boiling, and then put dried noodles and flavoring in the hot water. Some splashed up on her and she cursed at the brief pain. Slightly irritated, she looked at the back of the ramen package and chuckled slightly about how much salt is in the soup. _I guess you could say I'm salty,_ she thought amusedly to herself.

After her measly soup was done cooking, she poured it into a bowl and looked for a drink out of her fridge. She sighed when she noted she only had a few wine coolers, as she really didn't want to get inebriated tonight. She gave up and decided she would only have one as she ate her noodles, and maybe one before bed. She headed to her living room and dropped herself into her couch with a sigh, turning the T.V on as she did. As she ate her soup and drank her beverage, she couldn't focus on whatever show was playing. Her mind kept drifting off to the topic she was remembering earlier. _I wonder what Peridot is up to now,_ Lapis wondered.

The topic of Peridot had always perplexed Lapis. She can't deny she felt some attraction to her throughout her college-prep days, yet she couldn't tell why. The bluenette could swear up and down that she never felt envious of Jasper being so close to Peridot, yet she always felt like she was lying. Lazuli would always find herself looking at the shorter of her adversaries, wishing that the pair didn't dislike her. Peridot was never the one to actually do her any harm, only act pedantic and arrogant while putting Lapis down. Lapis always understood why, as Peridot's cruel treatment of her always came after she had been caught staring. _God, Peridot was so… No. No, stop that Lazuli. Remember what she did to you._

Lapis hardened her expression and pushed out whatever positive emotion she was about to feel for Peridot. Muttering, Lapis decided that it was time for her to sleep, and headed off to bed.

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 **A/N: More notes from me! Well, I just wanted to say thank you for reading down to the end here. I know this is a boring chapter, but it's just the beginning. I may have the next chapter up soon, depending on how much I want to procrastinate on my finals! Thank you for your time reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Why hello there! Two chapters in one day? You bet cha! This chapter is honestly under-whelming and still no sign of Peridot! Just a quick heads up for ya!**

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Lapis grumbled incoherently as her alarm clock went off at 4:15 am. Groaning in over-exaggerated agony, she drug herself out of bed and into the bathroom. She turned the knob in the tub and pulled up on the bath head to start running water for a shower. She turned and looked at herself in the mirror, hardly recognizing who she was. When she was younger, she looked so full of life and seemed to be optimistic. Ever since her senior year though, she always looked drained of life. Ghostly even. Her eyes were a dull shade of cobalt, a mere shadow of the glistening and lively orbs they were before. Her cheeks had sunken in, giving her a harsh look. She had lost some weight since then, her protruding ribs were evidence as such. She ran a hand through her hair, revealing the light roots of her natural hair.

 _Damn, Lazuli. You look terrible_ , she thought to herself. She shook her head to clear her mind and proceeded to shower and get ready for the next day at work. A thought hit her as she proceeded to stroll to the little café. _This is the first early shift I have_. While there were regulars in the afternoon, there were bound to be more in the morning, right? Lapis was never nervous about work, yet today she had a strange churning feeling in her gut. _Maybe I should call in sick. It was probably… no. You got this Lazuli. You don't even know why you feel this way. You have to find out for yourself._

Strengthening her resolve, Lapis ignored the sensation she was feeling and pushed more towards her work. As she got to the door, one of her co-workers opened it before she did.

"Good morning, Lapis!"

"Oh, uh, good morning 'Lynn," Lapis choked out.

She never knew why, but she always got flustered around Amberlynn. Lapis looked up to her co-worker, yet there was no clue as to why that was. 'Lynn smiled warmly and starting getting set up for the morning. Lapis joined her, working to double the effort and time it took to get set up. When the pair got done with setting up, 'Lynn raised her hand for a high-five. Lapis hit her hand half-heartedly, but the corners of her mouth perked up slightly. Lapis took a quick glance at the clock. 5:25. Five minutes until they open. As soon as Lapis looked away from the clock, the familiar melody of the bell on the door sounded. Lapis didn't recognize the person, but 'Lynn apparently did.

"Good morning!" came the newcomers voice.

 _Wait. Could that be?_

"Hello Jasper! Do you want the usual?"

 _Oh. Oh_ no _._ Lapis' heart sank. Her stomach felt like it was carrying a lead weight. She felt nauseous.

"Is it that easy to read me? Ha! Say, who's the new worker here?" Jasper asked, turning her attention to Lapis.

The bluenette could only look down at the floor and clench her fists. _I knew I recognized her. I knew it!_

"Jasper, this is Lapis," 'Lynn answered.

The color drained from Lapis' face as Jasper laughed. "Lapis? Lapis Lazuli? That can't be you!"

Lapis looked up from the floor and took a look at the woman standing in front of the counter. She was tall and had broad shoulders that, while uncharacteristic, seemed to fit just right with who the woman was. A mane of white hair fell around her shoulders, looking as wild as ever. _Yup, that's Jasper._

"Hah, yeah, it's me," Lapis replied shakily, hand rubbing the back of her neck.

"You two know each other?" 'Lynn asked, apparently bewildered.

Before Lapis could even think of an answer, Jasper laughed heartily. "Yeah we do. We go way back. We used to be the _best pals_ in high school."

Lapis could only glare at Jasper for this, yet there was something in Jasper's eyes that made her drop the glare and go for a neutral expression. Amberlynn looked at the two and noticed that the tension was so thick is was palpable.

"Alright, well. I'll get your coffee made and you two can catch up some, huh?" 'Lynn said as cheerily always.

Even though she was only a few feet away, the distance between Lapis and her co-worker seemed miles away. In a stark contrast to that, while Jasper was about ten feet away, the distance felt too close. It made her sick. The two women stood there in awkward silence, with Jasper looking at Lapis with a gleam in her eye. The bluenette couldn't make eye contact with the larger woman though. _Oh just hurry up. Come on._

"So, Lapis," came Jasper's voice. "Well. I, uh. Okay, I'm sorry."

Lapis wrapped her arms around herself in a tight, defensive self hug. She remained quiet, yet she looked at Jasper. Lapis was about to open her mouth when 'Lynn came back with Jasper's coffee.

"Sorry about the wait," she apologized. There was no reply from Jasper besides a slight nod. Jasper paid for her coffee and left a five dollar tip in Lapis' tip jar. Without another word, she left the café.

"So, what was that about?" 'Lynn questioned.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Lapis lied.

"You're a terrible liar. If you don't want to talk about it, you can just say so," her friend said nonchalantly.

Lapis just gawked at her and blushed out of embarrassment. Lapis lightly shook her head and cleared her mind.

The rest of the work day went by slowly, with the most exciting thing that happened being a flustered customer dropping their coffee on their laptop and cursing their way out. _Strange, it feels like I've seen her before_ , Lapis had thought. Then again, this day had been exceptionally strange. She couldn't trust the way she felt at the moment.

Lapis was told that she could go home early if she wanted, as it had been a stressful day for her. The bluenette graciously accepted and decided to go for a walk.

After a bit of walking, she found herself at the bank of a river. Clutching one arm in the other, she sat down and dipped a foot in the river. Her close proximity to the water put her into a tranquil state of mind. She was lost lost in thought that she didn't even realise how much time had passed. When she broke away from her thoughts, the sun was setting. Lapis looked up at the sky and sighed. _I just want to stay out here forever. It's so nice and peaceful here. It's so much unlike what I'm used to in life._

As the night progressed on, Lapis finally knew she had to go home for little things like food and (ironically) water. Sighing, she got up and started a peaceful walk back to her apartment. She meandered around on the walk back, appreciating the flowers, trees, and wildlife as she went. It was just starting to change from summer to fall, yet the leaves didn't show any signs of it. As she got lost in thought again, she barely had time to react to a deer grazing on the path ahead of her. She froze in fear, wondering if it was a buck or doe. Thankfully it was indeed a doe. _One less thing to worry about at least. I can walk freely without being worried I'll get stabbed by an antler._ As Lapis carefully skirted around the doe, she could hardly believe it's beauty when it stared at her. Everything in that one moment was so serene. It was as if time had slowed itself.

 _Crack!_ Lapis had stepped on a fairly large twig and spooked the poor thing, causing it to run off. The bluenette cursed herself for not looking where she was going, for ruining the tranquil image that was captured for a fleeting moment. She continued to curse herself as she walked home in an internal world of agony and peace.

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 **A/N: Woah! MORE notes from me? I love to talk, honestly. Anywho, thank you as always for taking the time to read this. You know and I know you could be doing something else or reading something, so thank you for actually taking what I write and looking at it! There may be some Peridot in the next chapter, but who knows? It will get angsty soon though. Just a heads up.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Tis I! The writer who makes stories pass too fast! If you don't know my writing style, it'll become apparent soon. This will be a double chapter upload, by the way!**

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The next morning, Lapis lavished the fact that she didn't have to work at all that day. She celebrated by staying inside all day and watching some old cartoons while eating some more ramen. As she got more and more disinterested in what was, or wasn't, happening around her, Lapis made the decision to get up and go for another walk. Except this time, she wanted to see what made that other café so popular.

She popped into the bathroom to see the same old eyes, tired of everything that had happened to her. Only this time, with a slightly glossier shine. Lapis laughed at herself for thinking such. _Oh_ please. _You'll never be the same person again, Lazuli,_ came her intrusive thoughts for the first time in a while. _You know that Jasper only apologized to you because you were there and she pitied you. You saw how she was dressed. She is probably much higher up in the world than you now, as if she wasn't before._ The faint glimmer of whatever emotion was in her eyes had now long faded, and she looked exhausted once more.

After splashing some water onto her face, Lapis finally got herself ready to go out into the world. She plastered on a false grin like always, and got herself out of her apartment. As she was locking up, she heard some bickering from an upper floor. It ended with the slam of a door and what sounded like an angry man pounding on the locked door. _Ignore them, Lazuli._ She fumbled with the lock some more, and finally got it locked. She heard the fighting start again as she descended down the stairs to the streets below.

As the bluenette walked down the street, she could smell the coffee from both shops hanging on the breeze. One would think you would get tired of the aroma from being around it all the time, yet she wasn't tired of it. Quite the opposite. She crossed the road to get to the rival coffee shop, only to find it was packed. She entered the café and immediately felt overwhelmed. _Stay calm, you got this,_ she repeated over and over again. Right before her anxiety took hold, she got up to the counter.

"Hello there! What can I get for you today?" the employee said, none too enthusiastically.

Lapis thought for a moment. "Can I get a café latte please? A small too, if you could."

The barista nodded and hit the keys on the register relevant to her order. "You total comes out to two seventy five," she informed Lapis.

Lapis' hands fumbled around with her wallet, and eventually got the money that was asked for. The cashier thanked her and asked her name. Lapis told her, and went to sit at a table. She looked around, finally taking a moment to pay attention to herself. As she looked around the shop, she noticed a familiar looking laptop. When she paid closer attention to the owner, she realised that it was the person that had spilt her coffee all over her computer yesterday. She found herself staring at the owner, marveling at something. Was it the green frames of her glasses, surrounding the deep green eyes beneath them? Maybe it was because of the blonde hair, that looked neat and like a mess simultaneously. The freckles that were lightly peppered throughout her features?

The sound of her name being called was the only thing that brought Lapis back to the real world. She got up and took the coffee from the person handing it to her, and headed to the door. She was about seven feet away when she noticed, out of the corner of her eye, that the girl she was looking at earlier was now staring at her. Flustered, Lapis hastened her pace to try and get out of the shop as quickly as she could. She was at the door when some careless teenagers decided to shove the door open - right into a certain unsuspecting bluenette. She was knocked backwards, and landed on the floor. By some miracle, not a single drop of coffee landed on her. By some stroke of terrible luck, it had gotten all over the shoes of the woman she had been observing earlier. _Oh no. Oh no oh no oh no oh no,_ was all Lapis could think. _Wait a moment. That face. Oh don't you dare tell me._ The voice that came out of the woman was all everything to confirm it.

"... Lazuli?" the voice came.

Lapis blurted out the fastest and most sincere apology to the woman, and made for the door. The teens that had knocked her down were trying to help her get back up, and were apologizing endlessly. The bluenette pushed past them, trying to control her emotions at the moment. A very irrational thought pushed into her mind. _Oh my stars I have to move if they're both here._ Lapis had yet to think about the fact that the two of her high school tormentors were still in the city where they all graduated. Or, at least, they did. _You're so stupid, Lazuli. You can't just up and move._ She fought with herself internally all the way back to her apartment.

As she leapt up the stairs to her floor, she noticed it was all quiet through the apartments once again. She got to her room and fumbled with the lock again. That's when she heard the voice of the person in the coffee shop again. "Lapis? Your phone fell out of your pocket when you were knocked over earlier! Lazuli!"

Lapis couldn't process what she had heard, all that mattered was getting into her apartment before _she_ got up here. _How did she even find the apartments? Oh, yeah. That's right. I live literally a block away. Ten points to Lazuli's memory!_ She scolded herself. The lock finally gave up, and she found asylum in her small place. She leaned back against the door, trying to force the emotion and memories down and out. She was almost calmed when she heard a soft knock on the door. _Damn it!_

The bluenette opened the door slightly. She looked down at the shorter person on the other side of the door. "Yeah?" she asked abrasively.

"Lazuli?" The woman's voice was steady, almost not even questioning. Yet it held some more depth to it.

"What do you want, Peridot?"

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 **A/N: As always, thank you for taking the time to read what I have written! I'm hoping uploads on this will be regular, I've written far into the story so far. Should I slack, let me know and nag me about it!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: ANGSTY STUFF HERE. HELLO. Anyways, what I love about AUs is being able to stray away from a character's design... to a certain extent. This is exhibited in this chapter!**

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Lapis felt good about her aggressive tone, yet she wished that she could have done more than hide behind a door. _Why is she here? How did she know it was me? How can she recognize - oh, right. Name being called in the coffee shop. Stars know I have a_ very _common name._

"Relax. I'm just here to drop off your phone that fell out of your pocket," came Peridot's voice.

"Oh, okay," was Lapis' curt reply, taking the small phone from Peridot.

"So, how have you been? May I come in?" Peridot asked, obviously now knowing what to do know.

"Good, and no. Sorry," the harsh words came flying out of the bluenette's mouth faster than she could process them.

"Look, Lapis -" Peridot started and got cut off.

"Thanks Peridot, but please stop. Please go away."

Lapis watched quietly as Peridot's expression remained neutral. She felt something, but couldn't put a finger on what exactly it was. Finally, Peridot turned and headed out of the apartment complex. _Great, you made her feel terrible._ Lapis felt a pang of remorse. A sudden flashback of her senior year dissolved any remnants of it though. _No, she deserved it. She deserved it after everything that happened._

The blue-haired woman nearly jumped out of her skin when she felt her phone vibrate in her hand. _Who could be trying to get ahold of me? The only person who has my number is my boss._ Curiosity piqued, Lapis unlocked her phone. She'd never seen this number before. Scrolling over to her SMS menu, she furrowed her brow. She clicked on the message and read the two words and one letter, without comprehending everything at first.

 _I'm sorry -P._

Lapis was halfway through her response when it actually hit her. What the short message was about and what it meant. She looked down at her unfinished message. " _Who is"_ is all it read. Quickly deleting every character on the small screen, she closed out of her message composition menu and turned her phone off. In an unwarranted bout of fury, she hurled her phone across the room. _Why did this all happen so fast? This is some bull -_ her thoughts were interrupted by a sharp pain in her arm. Wincing, she felt around her arm. She had taken a basic medicine class in school before deciding it wasn't for her. She found the tender spot on the inside of her elbow. _This is what you get for throwing your phone, Lazuli,_ came her mocking thoughts.

Sighing, she went into her kitchen, grabbing a sealable baggie, and then headed to her freezer. She made a small ice pack, and placed it on her arm. Looking in her freezer, Lapis remembered that she had bought ice cream two days ago. With the smallest of smiles, the grabbed the carton and a spoon. Plopping herself down on her couch, she turned on her T.V and ate the sugary substance right out of the container.

After eating about half of the ice cream, Lapis decided it would be better to put it up and save it for a later day. She got up and trudged her way to the freezer. After haphazardly tossing the cardboard container into the icebox, the bluenette decided to look in her fridge for a beverage. She eyed the four alcoholic beverages she had left quite hungrily. _Why not? I need it after these past two days._

Taking the first one out of the fridge, she went and sunk deeper into her couch than before. In only a matter of minutes she had finished her drink. She got up and got her second one, with little to no regrets at this point. As she came back to her living room, she decided it would be best to pick up her phone. Enveloping the phone in her hand, the bluenette brought it back to the couch. She held the red END CALL button down to turn the phone on, and waited patiently. As the phone when through its boot sequence, Lapis took a deep drink from her second beverage. She already felt a bit woozy, thanks to the combination of stress mixed with the alcohol.

The phone turned on, and showed it had a new message. With a sigh, she went through and was relieved when she noticed the text was from her boss. _Don't worry about coming in tomorrow, Lapis. 'Lynn said you had a rough day yesterday and probably need more time for recovery. Hope all is well!_

She sent a quick reply, thanking her boss for the kind thoughts and for the day off. Absent mindedly, she went and looked at the short message from who she could only assume was Peridot. Taking another drink of liquid courage, she decided to try and reply. She blanked on every single word in the English language as she reflected on Peridot. _My stars, she's so… No, stop that. Stop it._ She kicked herself for thinking about Peridot in a positive way yet again. With an outward groan of agony, she replied with a simple, and meaningless, " _Who's this?"_

She twiddled the phone in her hands, waiting for a reply. A feeling was bubbling in her stomach, yet whether it was rage or… _something_ else was completely nebulous. _What even caused all this? Are they roommates? Why would they both apologize in the span of two days? Why would I run into both of them that soon?_ Question after question broke into her mind. First they started slowly, then they kept flying in and out of her mind like a humming bird. The questions paired with a sudden buzz in her hand made her want to vomit. Her anxiety levels spiked, and she just couldn't get to calming down.

Suddenly, she was back in that moment on the trail she had walked. The small doe there, staring into her eyes. She felt the coolness of the water around her ankles again, and she felt at peace once more. As soon as she calmed, she was suddenly back in her living room, phone in hand. _New message_ flashed across the screen, with a small animation of an envelope opening and a small letter popping out. Lapis selected the _Read_ option and scanned over the message.

 _Please, Lazuli. It's not rocket science._

 _Wow, she hasn't changed a bit_ , she thought. She ran a hand through her hair, ruffling it up. She slid her phone up to reveal the keyboard and typed in a message.

 _My stars, Peridot. What do_ you _want?_

She hit the send key and went back for another drink. Doubts about having another drink flicked across her mind for a fleeting second. They faded as soon as her hand enclosed around the neck of the bottle. Why was she feeling this way? She never had before. Well, she had at one point and that didn't end well. Lapis shuddered. She didn't want to relive that. As the bluenette sat back down with her third drink, she heard her phone alert her of a message. She went through the same process as last time, and wasn't surprised to see a message dripping with disinterest.

 _I just wanted to say sorry. I don't want anything else now._

Lapis snorted and put in a very sarcastic _Lmao okay then,_ and sent it to her. The drink ran empty at this again. Lapis glanced at the clock, time seemed to have just been a figment of her imagination. A couple of hours had passed since she had been home. It had only felt like twenty minutes. With a sigh, she decided that the fourth drink would be too many, and started to clean up the small mess she had made. On the trip to the kitchen, she tripped and shattered a few bottles. _Nice one, Lazuli,_ the mocking thought came as she surveyed the small cuts on her hands. She plucked a glass shard out of her hand and winced in pain.

After getting herself bandaged up, Lapis swept up the broken shards of glass and sat back down on the couch. She picked up her phone without thinking and checked to see if there was a message on it. As fate would have it, there was. From Peridot. _What a surprise, she's the only one you've been talking to,_ she thought to herself.

 _I was just trying to be nice, no need to be so rude about it._

Feeling rage and unexplained courage, Lapis started to type out a message. One she wished she had said earlier.

 _I don't need to be rude about it? You and your friend were the rudest people ever to me over the course of high school! You made it to where I had no friends and literally almost everyone_ hated _me. Not even the teachers in the classes we had together wanted to deal with me!_

Shaking, she hit the send button before she wrote more. Adrenaline flowed through her veins at the moment, and she felt like she could run a mile. She knew she couldn't, so she stayed put. Her phone notified her of a message relatively soon this time. She hesitated in opening it, but eventually did.

 _Look. I know I did you wrong. I'm sorry._

Lapis scoffed and put the phone down. _It's like talking to a rock,_ she thought. She gave a yawn and rubbed her face with her hands. _Ah damn, it's getting late._ She stretched and got up. A bit wobbly, she made her way to her room. As she opened her door she could only think of her head hitting the pillow.

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 **A/N: Heyo! Thank you again for reading this fic! Every view it gets fills me with determination (wrong fandom, I know). If you liked it, reviews are appreciated (yet not required.) Also! If I slack too far behind on updates, go ahead and nag me via Tumblr. I waste my life on there, so I'll be bound to see any messages!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Yay! More plot! To be completely honest, I'm surprised I'm not jumping to the conclusion already. ANYWAYS, go ahead and read! This chapter's soul purpose is to just give background to chapter 6 (which may be uploaded tomorrow, but I don't know).**

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Peridot looked impatiently at her phone. It was nothing too fancy, she honestly spent most of her money on the computers she built and sold for profit. She just needed the basics. _Come on, Lazuli. I'm trying to apologize here._ The short woman fidgeted a little. She honestly did feel terrible for making Lapis feel the way she had for those four years. Part of it was done for fear of what Jasper might have started doing to her, and another part of it was because the stares from Lapis had made her insecure. It was bad enough that she had been considered a short nerd for the longest time. Once she had befriended Jasper, those comments had stopped short. Peridot had only been trying to protect herself. _More like my ego,_ she reflected. An exasperated sigh escaped her. She turned the screen of her phone on. It had been half an hour. Still no response from her.

Peridot had heard that Jasper attempted to make up for her transgressions yesterday. _Perhaps I didn't wait long enough,_ she reasoned. The blonde sighed, running a hand over her face. _Gah! My glasses!_ She complained inwardly after smudging them. She took the green frames off and wiped them clean on the hem of her shirt. She put them back on and blinked a couple of times. A brilliant idea formed in her mind. With a small grin, she picked up her phone and typed up the message that had formulated itself. _This has got to work!_

That night, Lapis had dreamt. Put into a state of terror as her past came back to haunt her. She woke up in a cold sweat, panting as if she had just ran a marathon. She stumbled out of bed and into the bathroom. She retched up whatever remained in her stomach and then just bile. After her stomach calmed, the drug herself to the sink. She splashed cold water onto her face and glanced into the mirror. There was no colour in her face and held a ghostly look to it. _It was just a dream, Lazuli. Just a dream._

Except it hadn't been. It was a formulation of memories that had come flooding back to get her in the dead of night. She shuddered. _I never want to relive any of that. I would rather... better not think of that._ With the promise of sleep not going to return, Lapis got up to go sit on her living room and try to push every single thought and emotion out of her head. She hung her head in her hands, cradling it gently. A pain similar to a scythe going through her head was exploding in the front of her head.

Instead of trying to ignore the pain, she focused on it. It drove out every other thought in her mind. She heard her phone buzz twice on her coffee table. Groaning, she picked it up and tried to see who was trying to get a hold of her now. She blinked a few times at the screen, trying to clear her vision up. _Two new messages._ Lapis sighed. She selected the read option yet again and sighed when she read Peridot's number.

 _Hey, let me make it up to you Lazuli. I'll buy you a dinner._

Lapis snorted. _Does she not realise that this will do_ nothing? She then pressed the _Next message_ button. Again, from Peridot.

 _I'm serious, Lapis. Let's go get dinner. Not tonight, of course._

The bluenette shook her head. She slid her keyboard out and quickly declined the offer. There was nothing Peridot could do to even make a dent in the hurt she and her friend caused Lapis. Surprisingly, Peridot's reply came fast.

 _Then what about lunch? Breakfast? Come on Lazuli._

She let out a small laugh. _She is definitely persistent._ Lapis slid the keyboard out, but couldn't think of a message. Her stomach growled, and she realised that there was a free meal in this whole ordeal. Even if her and Peridot didn't make amends, she would get some food in her stomach. With a sly grin on her face, Lapis finally accepted the invitation.

She glanced at the clock, a familiar notion now. It read 5:12 a.m. _What is she doing up so late? Or is she an early riser?_ Lapis found herself genuinely wondering. Her thoughts were interrupted by her phone going off.

 _Be ready by 7:30 this morning then._

It was such a short and demanding message. Regardless, she turned on her T.V, welcoming the background noise. There was nothing exciting on, yet she sat and watched whatever what was on. The pain in her head had started to subside, and eventually faded completely.

A couple of the programs on the T.V later, she glanced at the clock again. 6:30. She heaved herself off the couch and shuffled to the bathroom. Turning on the shower, she looked back in the mirror. She flipped open the mirror, revealing the medicine cabinet behind. She looked at a small bottle of Advil and popped open the lid. She took a couple of the small pills out and swallowed them, hoping they would prevent and headaches that would creep up on her in the next couple of hours.

After getting out of the shower and working on repressing any emotions she happened to be feeling, Lapis tried to figure out what she wanted to wear. Ruffling through her clothes, she decided on an azure sweater and some jeans. There was a bit of a cold snap in the air, and she didn't want to get caught being cold. Finally ready, she sat back down on her couch. Glancing over at her clock, she expected to hear from Peridot at any time.

Unknowingly, she had started to drift off into a state between being awake and asleep. She was jarred from this state when she heard a knock on her door. She started having second thoughts about all this. _What am I doing?_ The knock came again a second time, this time louder. Begrudgingly, she stood up and stretched. She walked over to the door and looked out of the small hole in the door.

Sighing, she opened the door and looked down at the blonde. Peridot gave the slightest of smiles to her.

"Lazuli," she said in a very monotonous voice.

"Uh, hi," Lapis replied quietly. _Why did I agree to this? This is a terrible idea._

After a moment of awkward and tense silence, Peridot finally spoke up. "Are you ready to go, or are you going to stand there?"

With a hardened expression, Lapis stepped out of her apartment and into the hall. Wordlessly, she turned back and locked the door. "I'm as ready as I can be," she said in a steely tone.

Something flashed across Peridot's face for a fleeting moment. "Then let's go," came the reply in a neutral tone.

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 **A/N: As always, thank you for reading this chapter! I hope you have a wonderful day/afternoon/evening! If you want to let me know something, reviews are always appreciated!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Ah yes, the chapter people have been hoping for! Or is it? Chances are this is not going to be the one chapter you hope for in this story. I'm just trying to formulate a story with _substance_. So that means development! Well, enough of me talking about the story. Let's get to reading it! **

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The drive to wherever they were going was a long and quiet one. As she was looking out at the passing cityscape, Lapis caught herself looking at Peridot in the reflection of the window. _She looks… stressed? No, that's not it._ The bluenette kept observing the blonde as she drove, noticing all the slight changes in her face based off of the actions of other drivers. _It's kind of weird, being this close to her without her constant berating._

She saw Peridot open her mouth a couple of times, but nothing was ever said. Lapis watched as the car slowed and made a turn into a small parking lot. She heard a low curse under Peridot's breath and had to hold back a snicker.

"I swear, _nobody_ knows how to park," Peridot grumbled quietly, finally finding a spot.

Lapis unbuckled her seat belt and worked on getting out of the car as fast as she could. Not only could she not stand being in a car for too long, Lapis couldn't stand being in a car with _Peridot_ for too long. She stepped out of the car and closed the door a tad bit too hard for Peridot's liking. As the blonde got out of the parked vehicle, she started to reprimand the bluenette.

"You don't have to slam the damn door, Lazuli. The doors do close easily. If you break it, you buy it, you know," came the condescending tone.

Lapis clenched her fists and glared right at the shorter woman. When Peridot looked her in the eye, her expression changed. From a look of anger to a look of… regret? Opening and closing her mouth a few times, the blonde finally settled with a mumbled, "I'm sorry," and ran a hand across her face.

It made no sense for Peridot to apologize to her. Well, it did, but not very much with how Peridot always used to treat her. "Anyways, let's go get some food, Lazuli."

The bluenette shook her head softly and followed Peridot into the small diner that they had arrived at. She followed the short blonde to a small corner booth. While Peridot slid all the way to the wall, Lapis sat on the edge furthest away from her. Taking a menu, Lapis buried her head in it and engrossed herself in it. The last thing she wanted to do was eat, but her growling stomach screamed otherwise. Her mouth watered. Everything looks so good! My stars, this'll be the best thing I've had to eat in forever! Lapis made up her mind on what to get, and folded the menu back in half. She rested her hands on the menu and continued to look down. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Peridot shake her head and turn towards the window.

 _What's up with her?_ Lapis wondered to herself. As if the blonde was a mind reader, she sighed. "Look, Lazuli. I'm… I'm sorry about everything I did to you. Back then, I was so worried about what others would think of me, I didn't think about what I would make people think of you."

The bluenette grasped her hands together, and held her hands together. She steeled herself and looked at Peridot. When Lapis didn't say anything, Peridot let out an exasperated sigh. "Laz- er, Lapis, I didn't offer a meal just so I could sit here and have a one-sided conversation."

"Well, I wasn't the one to offer this outing," Lapis replied matter-of-factly.

Peridot gaped for a moment. _She isn't used to me telling her what I think,_ Lapis thought with an inward smile. Seeing that Peridot was still at a loss for words, the bluenette decided to speak up again. "Besides, an apology isn't going to make up for it all. You must know that. At least I'd hope you would."

"Well, I- uh... Yes, I know that. It was just weighing down on my shoulders," Peridot finally stuttered. "No- Not that because that was the only reason why I wanted to apologize, of course."

Lapis made eye contact with Peridot as the blonde turned towards her. "Then why did you want to?" she asked coolly.

"Because I-" she was interrupted by a waiter coming over to take their order. The two girls both ordered their food and handed over their menus. Lapis turned to look at Peridot expectantly, wanting to hear the reasoning behind their meeting.

"I, uh… excuse me!" the blonde said, rushing to where Lapis only assumed was the bathroom.

Peridot splashed some cold water onto her face. _This isn't that hard, just tell her that you heard what she did to herself then._ The blonde looked into the mirror and noticed her pupil dilation. _Why are you scared? This isn't even moderately as bad as anything you said to her before! Just go out there and tell her already! Tell her you feel bad for her. Wait, no that would sound like you only pity her. Think, Peridot, think!_ After her internal conflict, Peridot dried her face and headed back to where the two were situated within the diner. She swallowed hard when she saw a very agitated looking Lapis. _Maybe that wasn't the best idea in the world._

Peridot sat back down up against the wall and used it for some sense of false security. Lapis looked at her with a expression of expectation and irritation. _Oh boy, this is going to be fun._

"What were you going to say?" came the girl opposite of Peridot's harsh tone.

"I, uh-" Peridot started. _Why is this so damn hard?_

"Forget it," Lapis interrupted. The blue-haired woman looked away from Peridot.

 _What? It went from her wanting to know to not wanting to?_ It took every bit of will Peridot had not to start ripping hair out of her scalp. _She is too confusing! This was all a mistake. I should never have brought her here!_ "Uh, okay," Peridot replied passively.

The next five minutes passed by excruciatingly slow and quiet. If it hadn't been for the ambient noises in the diner, Peridot would have gone mad. More than once Peridot caught Lapis looking at her with a strange expression while they were waiting for their meal. _What is that look for?_ Just before she was going to ask, their waiter brought a plate of food out for the each of them. With the most insignificant amount of irritation, Peridot turned and stared at her food. She wasn't that hungry yet, and she felt like she wouldn't be for the encounter now. She absent-mindedly pushed some of the food around on her plate, similar to what a small child would do with leftover vegetables. Looking up, the blonde noticed that Lapis had already finished her food. _She devoured that plate so fast! It's like she hasn't…_ Peridot's thoughts trailed off as she slowly noticed Lapis' eyes flicking between her and the plate of food she had yet to touch.

"Lapis? Do you want some of my food?"

Lapis seemed surprised by the question. "If you wouldn't mind, I would love to have some," came the quiet response. The way she answered got to Peridot.

"Go ahead and take all of it. I'm not that hungry," Peridot offered.

She saw the bluenette's eyes widen slightly and noticed the slight hesitation that she showed. In order to encourage her, Peridot pushed the plate slightly towards Lapis. _What is she waiting for? Why isn't she taking it? Oh my stars, is she… is she going to cry?_

"Uh, Lapis? Are you okay? It's just food."

"I- yeah, I'm fine," came a shaky reply.

Peridot glanced away from the other girl as she started to eat the other plate of food. _Come to think of it, it's looking like she hasn't been too well off._ Peridot sighed. _I'm probably to blame for all this. If not, then I'm a contributing factor._ The blonde ran a hand through her hair. Lapis clearing her throat brought Peridot back to the present.

"Peridot… thank you," the bluenette said. Peridot blinked a couple of times.

"I wasn't even that hungry," she said in a subdued tone.

Lapis rolled her eyes and stared down at the table. The pair was silent until the waiter came over to hand over the bill. Peridot took it and slid a twenty into the little booklet. "Alright, let's go."

Lapis looked up and gave Peridot a confused look. "Aren't you going to wait for your change?"

"No, I don't really need money back," she laughed.

A fleeting look of envy flashed over Lapis' face. With a sigh, the bluenette rose to her feet. Peridot followed suit, and soon they were out in the car again. While waiting for Lapis to put her seatbelt on, Peridot noticed the small bandages that covered her hands. _How did I not notice that before?_ "Hey Lapis? What did you do to your hands?" the blonde asked impulsively.

Lapis turned a shade of red and shrugged. _That's a real_ great _answer, Lazuli._ Choking back her slight irritation, Peridot started the car and started to head to Lapis' apartments. As time went on in the car, Lapis asked for Peridot to take an unexpected turn.

"Lapis, you do know this isn't anywhere close to the way we need to go, right?" Peridot asked, genuinely confused.

Lapis nodded. "Yeah, I just want to take a walk by myself for a little bit."

Peridot looked at Lapis out of the corner of her eye. Something seemed to have grabbed the other girl's attention outside of the car, as she never looked away from the window.

"Hmph. Okay then, Lazuli. Just know that I won't come pick you up from here," Peridot stated.

Another shrug came from Lapis and Peridot had to bite her tongue. The blonde reluctantly made the turn and dropped the bluenette off. Right before Lapis shut the door, she hesitated.

"Peridot? I just wanted to thank you."

Before Peridot could reply, Lapis shut the door and walked away. Peridot sat in the car, still speechless. _What did I do to deserve that?_ The blonde only shook her head in confusion and started the car. _Whatever, it doesn't matter. I'll just have to try to explain myself another time,_ came Peridot's thoughts as she started to drive home.

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 **A/N: Okay. Writing from Peridot's perspective is so fun. (It'll be more evident next chapter, trust me.) So, what did you guys think? Like it? The next chapter may be up soon. Who knows? I'm already into chapter 10, almost eleven. ANYWAYS, thank you guys for taking your time to read! Reviews are super** **appreciated! (Just please be nice with critiques if you have any!) :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Woo! Alright, sorry for the long-ish wait on this chapter! (I know it was only like a week but I should really be more consistent considering I have _way_ more written.) Any-who, this is a little bit of an angsty chapter, and it can get a little... dark. However, there will be happy times after this chapter! I swear! ;^; **

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Peridot was elbows-deep in computer work when she heard her phone go off. Startled, she shot up and pulled the processor she was trying to mount right off the motherboard with her. _Damn it!_ The blonde cursed herself and her shaky hands. _It'll take another five minutes to set this chip in the right place now,_ she thought with dread. Placing the processor in a safe place, she picked up her phone. _A text from Lapis?_ Peridot thought in shock. She unlocked her phone and immediately looked at the message.

 _Are you ever going to tell me what you were going to say at breakfast?_

Peridot's eyes widened. Not knowing what to say, she moved her thumbs around the keyboard trying to make up her mind. _Oh my stars, what do I say? Oh! I'll just delete the message and say I never received it! Wait, no. That won't work. That would be rude as well._ Clearing her throat, she shakily started typing.

 _Because I heard a little bit of why you decided to drop out. Or, well, it wasn't your choice per se, but… well, you know what I mean._

Peridot's finger hovered over the SEND button. Conflicted, she sat there staring at the button for a minute or two. One part of her wanted to run and scream from this confrontation, yet another, larger, part of her wanted her to face this. Shakily, she hit the little arrow to send her message. In order to prevent herself from cancelling the text, she turned the screen off and decided to focus on her project that she had been working on for an hour.

She had finally gotten the processor in the motherboard's socket correctly and was applying thermal grease to the top when she heard her phone go off again. With a sigh, she took the phone and unlocked it. She had left it on the message screen, leaving no reason to not read what Lapis sent.

 _What? Who told you?_

Peridot swallowed and typed in her response.

 _Nobody really in particular. It was just a rumor that finally got to my ears. Apparently everyone had known except for Jasper and I._

Hitting the SEND button again, she slid the phone into her pocket. _This computer will never get finished at this rate,_ she thought sadly. She picked up the tube of thermal compound again and systematically applied the paste in an X formation with dots in the spaces. Before she got started with mounting the fan onto the chip, she waited for a reply. When none came within five minutes, she started with the fan. As fate would have it, as soon as Peridot was situating the fan, her phone buzzed in her pocket. With an annoyed huff, she took the time to situate the fan and mount it. As soon as she was tightening the last screw, she felt her phone go off again. Getting her arms free from the computer, she pulled her phone out of her pocket. Unlocking it, she saw that both texts were indeed from Lapis.

 _Okay._

 _Hey, Peridot. How much do you know?_

The blonde's eyes widened. She felt her mouth go dry. _How do I tell her I know almost everything?_ With a sigh, Peridot ruffled her hair.

 _All I know is that you just took a bunch of your medications and were sent to the hospital. Then you never came back._

Peridot slid the phone back in her pocket, feeling a strange sinking feeling in her stomach. She looked at the computer that she had been working on. _I know that the rest is all so fast to explain, but…_ Peridot's thoughts wouldn't form into complete sentences at the moment. She went and sat down on the small chair that sat in her workroom, and mindlessly spun the chair. She stopped it after the first full rotation and waited. And waited. She looked at the clock, and started to worry a bit. _It's been ten minutes. I hope she's okay._

Peridot shook her head. _Where is this sudden affection for her coming from? This makes no sense. Yet… it's not entirely unwelcome._ She decided to pull her phone out and check it. Peridot got slightly embarrassed when she saw that she had accidentally set it on silent with no vibration option on. She unlocked her phone and read the message that Lapis had sent.

 _Is that really all you know?_

As Peridot was typing out a response, she got another message from the bluenette.

 _If you're busy, I can leave you alone for a bit._

Scoffing, Peridot only added more onto the end of her message.

 _Well, that's all I've heard for sure. I've heard a few other things, but I don't think - and I hope that they aren't - that they're real. I may be busy, but it's only fair that I answer any questions you have._

She sent the message and waited.

 _What have you heard?_

Startled by the fast reply, Peridot was at a loss for words for a moment.

 _Lapis, I really don't feel comfortable repeating the things I've heard._

The blonde ran a hand over her face, smearing her glasses. Grumbling, she wiped them clean with the hem of her shirt. She held them up to the light to make sure that any smears were gone, and then set them on her desk. _I should really invest in some contacts._ Her thought process was interrupted by her phone going off again. Sighing, she picked it up,

 _Peridot. You just said it's only fair you answer my questions. What have you heard?_

Peridot swallowed. She then repeated everything that she had heard to Lapis. After she had typed out every atrocity that she had heard, Peridot felt almost numb inside. Every single spiteful thing she had ever said to Lapis came back and hit her like a truck. She felt a tear fall from her eyes, then another, and another, until she was crying steadily. _She didn't deserve any of that. What did I do to her? She tried to take her own life and I just sat there, contributing to her self-loathing! Peridot you idiot!_ She lashed out and slammed her fist on her desk. She heard her phone buzz, and it took every bit of sheer will not to throw the thing across the floor. She grabbed it gingerly and unlocked it.

 _I'm sorry, I need to go._

She turned the phone screen off and then sat there in silence. Peridot had never felt more of a terrible person than she did at this moment. _Why did I do those things?_ The phrase kept repeating itself in her head, over and over, driving her mad. Thirty minutes passed, and finally Peridot moved.

"It's time that I throw the rest of this junk together," she muttered to herself as she turned her attention to the half-finished computer. She sat there in complete and utter silence as she put the computer together, piece by piece, wire by wire.

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 **A/N: Alrighty, thanks for reading down to here! Or maybe you skipped and skimmed through this chapter, I wouldn't blame you! (The techy parts I can understand skipping, I'm just a total computer geek.) Well, as always, thank you for reading this far! It really means a lot to me. Also, please review! I live for them. ;^;**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Haha, hey look something _not_ riddled with angst! It isn't completely free of it, nor is it saturated with it! I'm getting antsy because we are _so close_ to the actual fluff but I don't want to rush it for you guys! We suffer together!**

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Lapis was shaking. _How did she know? Who told her? Who knew?_ Question after question flittered through her mind. She couldn't answer any of them. They threatened to engulf her, swallow her whole. All she could do was sit there, the only sound of passing traffic outside. She couldn't find the strength to even cry. She didn't have strength for anything. All she could do is sit there, trying to forget every single memory.

She was failing miserably. One by one, every single moment came back to her, yet only in fragments. She remembered fleeing her house, parents yelling at her, waiting for her to come back and face their wrath. Her rummaging through clearance items, looking for something cheap and sustainable to eat when she hadn't in a week. Looking for a place to live. Eventually just giving up, and pulling a bottle out of her small bad she had. Waking up in a hospital, not knowing where she was. The doctors telling her that her parents declined to see her. Everything falling and crumbling around her.

Finally, she started to cry. She wept and sobbed until she had no more tears to shed. _I'm just so tired_ , she thought. She glanced over at the clock on her wall. It read 8:37 pm. _I guess I could stand to get some sleep now._ She headed to her room and collapsed onto the bed. She hugged her pillows and tried to let sleep claim her.

Hours later, when she was still awake, her phone buzzed. Annoyed, she picked it up and saw it was from her co-worker.

 _Hey, Lapis. Could you come in at 7 tomorrow? Something came up and I can't stay in for the whole time. I will come back in to relieve you though!_

Groaning, she slid her phone up.

 _Yeah, I can do that._

In all reality, Lapis wanted nothing more than to just disappear from the world. Looking at the time, she sighed. She closed her eyes and drifted into a restless sleep.

When her alarm interrupted the tranquil silence in the room, Lapis groaned. She rolled over and hit the alarm to silence it. Rubbing her eyes, she got out of her bed and stumbled to the bathroom. Once she got into the bathroom, she took a quick shower, trying to only focus on the warm water hitting her back. She felt some tears leak out of her eyes, and she quickly washed them away. Getting out of the shower, she dried herself off and adorned her simple uniform. She combed through her hair and headed out for the door. She stopped at the door, and checked her pockets. Noticing she was lacking her phone, she looked back for it. As she noticed it, she hesitated. _Should I grab it? Do I even need it?_ Making up her mind, she went and retrieved it from the small table in her living room. Pocketing it, she headed out for work.

After the short walk, she entered the store. She was greeted by 'Lynn who quickly said her goodbyes as well, and left. Lapis got behind the counter and prepared for another dull day at work. It was busier than it usually was, which just served to drain the bluenette of energy faster than normal. By noon, she was ready to sleep for a whole day. Leaning on the counter, she rested her head in her hand. She began to reflect on the events of the past few days. The one scene she couldn't get out of her head was when Peridot offered Lapis her entire plate of food. The feelings of amazement washed over Lapis once more. _She didn't have to do that. Maybe she just pities me. I would pity me if I knew me too._

Getting slightly angry at herself for starting down the path of self-pity once more, Lapis stepped back from the counter. Deciding it would be better to busy herself, she started to do some tidying through the shop. She tried to find every single excuse as to avoid doing nothing. Then it would just be her and her thoughts. She had her back turned to the entrance, so when the chime of the bells floated through the shop, Lapis was surprised.

"Hello! I'll be with you in a moment!" she called out to the customer, going to wash her hands. As she finished up, she turned.

"What can I get for you to-" she stopped mid-sentence as she saw who it was.

"Uh, hey," the short blonde said, rubbing the back of her neck.

Lapis remained silent as she looked at her.

"I actually didn't think you would be working today," came a half-hearted attempt at an apology. "If I had known, I would have just gone somewhere else. I'm sure that I'm the last person you want to see right now."

Lapis just shrugged. "What do you want to drink?"

Peridot blinked at her. "I guess I'll just have a short espresso."

"Coming right up," Lapis said semi-robotically.

The blonde kept trying to make small talk, yet Lapis kept ignoring her. Only a few moments later, the bluenette had the coffee ready. She handed Peridot the cup, and thanked her for the business.

"Wait, what about the cost? How much do I owe?" the shorter of the two asked.

"It's on the house, don't worry about it," Lapis replied without any trace of emotion.

"Seriously?" Peridot gawked.

Lapis nodded her head and turned to tidy up any mess that had just happened. She heard the blonde drop something into the small tip jar by the register. Peridot reached the door and placed her hand on the handle before turning back to Lapis.

"Hey, Lapis? Thanks."

The bluenette barely had time to turn back to watch Peridot go. _Did she just thank me?_ The gesture was unexpected to Lapis. She kept just tidying up and cleaning, trying to busy her mind yet again. Every fiber of her being was screaming at her for showing kindness to the person who had put her into such a sour state less than twenty-four hours ago. However, something in the bluenette was at peace. Blissful, almost. Then there was _something_ else that was making her feel slightly better. Lapis dismissed it. _It's nothing. It always has been and always will be._

Eventually, 'Lynn came back in. "Hello, dear! I'm sorry that you had to take my shift for a little while!" came her sing-song voice.

"Oh, uh, yeah. It's not a problem," Lapis mumbled.

While getting ready for taking over her shift, Lapis' co-worker patted her on the back. "Hey, whatever you're going through right now; it'll pass. Things always do!" 'Lynn said with a grin.

Lapis turned to look at her, tears threatening to start welling up in her eyes. Blinking them away, the bluenette just merely nodded. She said good-bye to her co-worker, and was almost out of the door when 'Lynn stopped her.

"Hold on, Lapis! You almost forgot your tips for the day!"

Tensing up, she turned away from the door and grabbed her tips out of her jar. She smiled and waved at 'Lynn as she headed out of the door. She started her stroll to her apartment, getting lost in the sights and sounds of the streets on the way back. _Imagine if you had never gotten to see all this,_ she thought to herself in awe. Being around things other than her apartment and work really invigorated her. The energy that she had gotten from her walk slowly faded as she walked up the steps to her door. Sighing, she unlocked the entrance and walked inside, making sure to lock the door behind her. She walked over to her couch and fell into it. She rifled through her pockets and picked out the spare change and few bills that had accumulated in her tip jar. She set all of the money out on the table, and started to see if she had enough to get dinner. _Let's see here… five ones, three quarters, two nickels, and… a twenty?_ She flipped the twenty over to see if it was truly a twenty. Seeing that it was indeed printed on the other side, she went to get a felt-tipped pen. She marked the corner and saw, yet again, that it was a real twenty.

 _Damn it, Peridot._ Feeling irrationally angry, Lapis grabbed her phone out of her pocket.

 _Peridot, why did you give me such a large tip?_

She quickly hit SEND and waited for the reply.

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 **A/N: Thank you for reading this story! It is always a work in progress, even though I am chapters ahead in writing, and I'm constantly changing the direction and tone of chapters. You all have so much you can do with your time, yet you used it to read this story! So, thank you. You guys have a good day/night! Be sure to leave a review, I feed off of those.**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Oh my goodness I can't wait to upload everything so this explains the two chapters for two days thing. The first part is super techy again and I'm sorry if it turns people away I just love writing stuff about computers. Anywho this chapter is not at all sad (at least to me) and it is getting yet closer to fluff and I'm super excited, I might do another chapter upload tomorrow, but who knows?**

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Peridot was working in another computer when her phone went off yet again. She was so startled by it, the blonde pulled a SATA cord out of its slot on the motherboard, leaving the clip behind. _Oh my stars that's gonna be fun to fix!_ Peridot thought sarcastically. Holding in a groan of anger, she turned the back-light of her phone on. _It's from Lazuli?_

She read the text and smirked. _So she knew it was me. Of course, it's not like anyone else would really put that large of a tip in._ She tapped out a reply on her phone.

 _To thank you. And also because I feel like you may need to eat a little bit more._

She sent the message and looked down into the case harboring the motherboard and broken cable. With a sigh, she sat and reached into the case. She reached towards the port and tried getting the clip out with her hands first. With no success, she reached for some needle-nose pliers. _Careful, Peridot._ She eventually worked the broken clip out, but not without damaging the slot beyond use. _That's great._ The blonde was about to hunker down and start working on the computer again, when she heard her phone go off. Picking it up, she quickly unlocked it and read the text.

 _Well, thanks. It means a lot._

Peridot felt her cheeks get a bit warmer. _What? Why am I blushing?_ came the blonde's confused thoughts. _Oh my stars, no. This is_ not _happening._ She shook her head and clapped her hands on her face. The blonde wrote a response and started to work again.

 _It's no prob, Bob._

Peridot started to slide a graphics card into the metallic casing on the bare computer when her phone buzzed again. She allowed herself to slide the card down until she heard it attach to the motherboard. She picked up her phone and read Lapis' message.

 _That is so old, you know that?_

Peridot chuckled.

 _I know that. I may be stupid, but I'm not_ that _stupid._

She set her phone down and started to secure the graphics card to the case. After she screwed it into the back panel, the blonde then connected the card to the power supply. She looked over the connections and made sure that they were all fit properly, and started to tinker with the hard drive and solid state drives. That task went swiftly and without a hitch. Peridot was putting the entire case together when her phone went off again.

 _Your words, not mine!_

The blonde smiled and laughed again. She decided it would be good to take a break from her computer building at this point, so she went and sat at her small desk. She opened her laptop and started up a movie and made happy banter with Lapis for about an hour. During a lull in their conversation, Peridot finally said something.

 _You know, Lapis. You aren't so bad._

Everything else Peridot had said, it felt feeble; with no structure or substance. What the blonde had just said felt good to say, like it had meaning. She sat back and sighed. _Why did that feel so good to say? It was so simple, yet so meaningful. Well, to me at least._ While she was waiting for a reply from Lapis, her phone started to ring. She looked at the caller I.D and narrowed her eyes at it. _What is Jasper doing calling me?_ Irritated, she rejected the call. Seeing that the large woman didn't even leave a voicemail, the blonde decided it was nothing too important. After pushing the small event to the back of her mind, she looked down at the conversation she had going with Lapis. While she was re-reading some of their messages, she grumbled in annoyance when the conversation snapped back down to the present.

 _You're not too bad yourself. Although, I would like to talk to you more about all of what you know in person. If that's okay with you._

Peridot had to reread the message a few times before the meaning clicked in her mind. Perhaps a little too excitedly, she furiously typed out a response.

 _Yeah, I'm totally fine with that! Just let me know when!_

For some reason unknown to the blonde, her heart was pounding and her cheeks were red. _I hope that didn't sound too over-enthusiastic,_ she thought bashfully. While waiting for a response, Peridot messed around on her laptop. She opened up a game client and started to waste her time on the platformer she chose. Once her phone went off again, she paused the game. With a slight smile on her face, she read Lapis' response.

 _Oh, I don't care. It can be tonight, tomorrow, the day after that. It doesn't matter for me, just whatever time works for you._

Peridot thought about her schedule. _What am I doing? I don't have a schedule._ She laughed to herself and made out a reply to Lapis.

 _Yeah, any time works for me. So it's back on you, blue._

Smirking because of her rhyme, she sent the message and waited once again. With her focus on the platformer, she hardly noticed when her phone buzzed again.

 _Well, I was thinking about it and I can either do tonight or tomorrow evening. I remembered that I have to work._

Because she was so engrossed in her game, Peridot mindlessly replied saying that the latter would be a better choice. A reply from Lapis confirmed the da- er, _meeting_ , and the blonde went back to trying to beat the platformer. When she became so frustrated by death after death, Peridot gave up and looked at the time. _Oh my stars, it's already one in the morning?_ Cursing under her breath, the blonde got changed into shorts and a tank top and headed for bed.

By the time she had woken up, it was one in the afternoon. _Twelve hours of sleep? Wow, that's unusual, even for me._ She rolled out of bed, yawning. She reached around her bedside table for her glasses and put them on. Glancing around, she looked for her phone. _Oh hey, I should probably check if she's said anything._ When she couldn't find her phone, Peridot panicked slightly. She wandered over to her office and found her phone laying on her desk, completely drained of battery. Sighing, she went to retrieve her charger and plugged her phone in. Leaving it to charge, Peridot went to go shower.

 _Wow, I look great_ , she thought. Her blonde hair was sticking up in every which way. She ran a hand through her untamed hair, which only served to flatten a couple strands. Shaking her head, she got into the shower. A few minutes later, she was out and ready to face whatever the day could bring her.

She strolled back to her phone, and turned it on. She waited for a moment, and then looked to see if she had missed any texts or messages from anybody. Her phone told her that she had a message, but didn't display it. _Piece of junk!_ She waited impatiently for the message to finally show itself to her. With a triumphant grin, she finally got a message. She went to read the message and felt a twinge of regret for sleeping so long. The time stamp read 10 a.m.

 _What time works best for you today?_

Blushing ever so slightly, Peridot replied.

 _Anytime works now! Sorry for the late reply, I was actually asleep. I had a long night._

Sending the message, she went to go comb through her unruly hair. Finally getting it to be somewhat tamed, she returned to her phone. She tapped the screen absent-mindedly, seeing as there was no reply yet. _She's probably busy. Something could have come up. That's my fault for staying up so late._ The blonde sighed, setting her phone down. She flicked her T.V on and stared blankly at the screen. Ten minutes into whatever was on, she heard her phone buzz.

 _Well, go ahead and come over anytime now. I don't have anything going on anymore._

Peridot weighed her options. She made up her mind and tapped out a quick response while grabbing her keys.

 _Give me like twenty minutes, and I'll be over there._

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 **A/N: See? No bad things. Nope none at all. Cliffhangers? Oh yeah. Definitely. Will the next chapter contain good or bad stuff? You know what? Who knows? (I've written so far ahead so I know but I don't want to spoil anything but if you know my writing style you should already know the answer to it.) Enough of my talking! Thank you again for reading this, and all that fun jazz. Thank you all for the pleasant reviews~! They have made me 100% more invested in this story and it's gotten a lot further than I ever thought I would write to.**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Okay so this is going to be the last update I'm going to make for maybe a week. Three chapters up in three days is super fun but I do need to keep you guys on the edge of your seats! (If you're even there to begin with.) This chapter is... well, not the best in terms of emotions. You'll see what I mean.**

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Lapis was sitting on her couch, watching T.V with her heart in her throat. _Why did I ask for this? Is it too late to say that I don't want this?_ Her internal monologue was just a stream of constant questions and self-depreciation. Before she was about to go into another bout of despair, she heard a soft knock at her door. She got up, ran a hand through her hair, and walked to the door. The bluenette took a deep breath and smiled as best as she could when she opened the door. Peridot stood there, slightly hunched over, hands in her pockets. "Uh, hey. You ready to go or what?" the blonde questioned.

Lapis blinked at her. "I was actually wondering if we could just… stay here?" she choked out.

The bluenette saw the eyes of the shorter woman in front of her widen slightly. _My stars, is she blushing?_

"Yeah, we can do that," finally came the reply.

Lapis stepped to the side and let Peridot into the only place she felt safe. _Gosh, I sure hope I'm not wrong on this._ Seeing as the blonde was helplessly lost on what to do next, the bluenette gestured to the couch. "Go ahead and sit for a bit, I'm going to get a drink. Do you, uh, want anything to drink?" she offered.

Peridot shook her head and took a seat on the corner of the couch. The taller of the two made her way to the kitchen and took a look in the fridge. She grabbed a bottle of water and went to sit down on the other side of the couch. The tension in the air was palpable, and the silence was doing nothing to help. Eventually, Lapis decided to play some music softly. The music was enough to lighten the air just enough to where Peridot cleared her throat.

"So, Lapis. What exactly was your plan?" she questioned.

"What do you mean?" the bluenette retorted, slightly confused.

"Why did you want me here? What did you want to talk about?"

Lapis paused. _I knew this was a bad idea! I knew it._ She opened her mouth and closed it several times before she finally spoke again.

"I just wanted to know what you know. All of it," the blue-haired woman answered, drawing her knees up to her chest.

Lapis saw Peridot rub the back of her neck from her peripheral vision, and then she sighed. "If you would rather not repeat everything, that's fine too. I would prefer if you left if you don't want to explain though."

"What? No, I'll tell you. I'm just… trying to find a way to put it all in words is all," came the blonde's reply.

While waiting for a further elaboration, the blue-haired woman drew her knees up to her chest and rest her chin on them. Eventually, Peridot spoke. The blonde went on to explain all that she had been able to piece together from the snippets and rumors she had heard here and there. The words seemed to refuse to spill smoothly from Peridot's mouth, as she took frequent pauses and stuttered often. Opposed to how the blonde's words came, Lapis' tears streamed down her face in a smooth cascade.

As the shorter of the two continued on and on about what she knew, Lapis started becoming more and more detached from reality. Memories that she had suppressed for so long came back, and started to haunt her. She felt herself sinking down into an abyss of emotions she had long forgotten and was starting to lose herself. Before she completely got lost in the horrid memories, she felt a hand in her shoulder and a voice.

"Lapis?" the voice came.

"Lazuli?" it came more urgently now.

The bluenette stayed enthralled within her thoughts, albeit not as intensely. Lapis tried to drown out the voice trying to bring her back to reality, wanting to stay in the emotional stupor she had put herself in. This continued until she felt hands on both her shoulders and she was given a gentle shake.

"My stars I knew this was a bad idea. Come on, Lazuli! You have to talk to me."

The bluenette blinked and looked at the person who was now trying to comfort her. Without thinking, she threw her arms around the blonde and started to weep again. Lapis felt Peridot tense up, but eventually felt the embrace being returned. Once the weeping subsided, the bluenette stayed in the comforting hug until Peridot cleared her throat.

"Uh, Lapis?"

Lapis immediately dropped the hug and shot back into a sitting position. "Oh my stars I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, please forgive me," came the fast stuttering from her lips.

The blonde rubbed the back of her neck and shrugged. "It's okay, I don't mind it."

Lapis blushed furiously and it only served to embarrass her more. She hugged her knees again and stared off into the distance.

"Peridot?" Lapis asked.

"Yeah, Lapis?" Peridot answered hesitantly.

"All those years in school. Why?"

Lapis heard the blonde shift, yet she still looked off into the distance.

"Why what?" came the response, Peridot obviously wanting to avoid the question.

"You know exactly what," the bluenette said in a level voice.

"I… Oh dear. I honestly don't have an idea why."

Lapis snorted in response, showing her disbelief.

"Look, Lapis. I don't know why. I guess I was just stupid back then. After every single insult or outburst towards you, I'd feel instant regret. I was almost _intimidated_ by you, the way you handled everything without even blinking! I guess I just loved getting under people's skin, and when I couldn't get under yours it got to me and my ego. After you never came back, though, I got _worried_. I was completely aware of my actions, and I was aware of what they could cause, I just never thought it would get to you.

"Lapis I know that I hurt you beyond belief. I know that you can never truly trust me. I know all that! I also know that this is nearly impossible to ask, but I'm asking - no, _begging_ for you to forgive me! I've been drowning in my mistakes ever since I first screwed up talking to you the first time. I know that it's all just so selfish seeming but Lapis I do genuinely care about you and-"

"Peridot. Shut up," Lapis interrupted.

The blonde had started to get frantic in her explanation and her voice had began to raise with every sentence.

"W- what?" Peridot replied, hopelessly confused.

Lapis turned and faced the blonde. She had discarded her glasses to prevent any smudging and streaks from the tears now streaming down her face. Peridot's hair was even more of a mess than ever as a result of the blonde messing with it to have an outlet for her stress and anger. Azure eyes met emerald and they held the contact for several seconds. _She's gotten beautiful,_ the bluenette thought distantly. She felt heat rising up in her cheeks, and she pushed it down.

"Peridot, I can't tell you many things for certain, but I can tell you this. I do forgive you. Will I ever forget what you did to me? Probably not, that is a much harder fight that I don't think you'll win. The anger and self-loathing you've felt is exactly how I felt back then. I'm not going to hold you in that state for longer than you need to be, it's a terrible way to exist," Lapis said.

The blonde sat there, staring at Lapis, mouth hanging open. Fresh tears welled up in her eyes and finally spilled over her eyelids.

"L-lapis-" Peridot started.

Lapis hushed her and put a hand on the blonde's shoulder. The bluenette was surprised when the blonde drew her in for an embrace this time. Peridot was shaking violently, weeping tears of conflicting emotions. Lapis wrapped her arms around the blonde, letting her know that she was there to comfort her. When Peridot's crying stopped, the pair remained locked in their embrace.

"Hey Peri?" Lapis broke the silence.

"Hmm?" was the hummed response.

"Thank you."

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 **A/N: I'm so sorry. I was listening to a sad song on repeat while writing this chapter and it took a turn for the worse. (The song was Little do you Know by Alex & Sierra, and I highly recommend listening to it and possibly re-reading or skimming through this chapter again.) However! We are over the hill of negativity and it will get progressively happier from here! Thank you guys for keeping up with this story through ten chapters and thousands of words. I appreciate every view and review as well! See you guys next chapter!**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Hello guys! So this chapter is gonna be another happy one, thankfully!**

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A few days had passed since their talk, and Peridot felt a thousand pounds lighter. _I can't believe her,_ was the statement that kept running through Peridot's mind, over and over. The blonde had never felt more ecstatic in her life. When Peridot had left an hour later, it had seemed that all of the tension between the two had dropped. She had seen Lapis _smile_ at a stupid joke she had told. _Her smile was so nice! Oh and her laugh too,_ the blonde found herself lost in thought. Even though there was nobody around, a blush burned brightly in her cheeks. _Oh no. No, I can't be starting to… like Lazuli?_ Though, when Peridot thought about it she had always found the blue-haired girl attractive. _If only I hadn't been such a pain. We could be better friends than we are now._

Shaking her head, Peridot cleared her mind. The blonde turned to her computer and clicked on a game. She slid her headset on and grumbled something about it messing up her hair. The blonde got so engrossed in her game that she hardly noticed her phone going off. Cursing under her breath, Peridot slid an earpiece behind her ear and held the phone up to the exposed ear.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Peridot," the familiar voice came.

"What the- Jasper?" the blonde asked, surprised.

"Yeah, it's me. How have things been?"

Peridot left the lobby she was in and turned her full attention to the phone call. "Things have been great. Why the sudden call?"

The other person was silent for a moment. "I just thought I'd check in on an old friend. You know, why not?"

"Jasper, is everything alright?" the blonde asked with an edge of concern in her voice.

"Peridot, I just wanted to say sorry for the way I treated you back in highschool."

"What? You didn't mistreat me, you know."

"Yes, I know that, but I didn't exactly treat you like how friends should be treated. I'm sorry for that," came the sincere apology.

Peridot was taken by surprise. "Well, uh, thanks, I guess."

She heard a curt laugh on the other side of the phone. "Have you seen Lazuli around lately? She looks a lot better off."

The blonde felt another blush rise through her face. "Yeah, ha, I have seen her around. Quite a bit actually. We're, uh, on good terms now."

"Oh don't tell me you have a _crush_?" Jasper laughed.

Peridot grimaced. Jasper wasn't exactly dumb like people thought. While she looked like the opposite, she was extremely good at reading people's feelings and actions. The silence that the blonde gave only further dug her grave.

"Well, I'm glad that you made up with her, nerd. You were never the one to make many friends."

Peridot's only reply was a hum of acceptance.

"It sounds like you're busy, so I guess I'll leave you be. Go fix a computer or something," finally came a reply.

"Oh, yeah. Thanks for your call and thanks for, well, everything," the blonde muttered. She took the phone from her ear and pressed the red END CALL button to terminate the call. Peridot ran a hand over her face and sighed. _I swear, that woman._ The blonde chuckled. The two hadn't been exactly nice to each other in their school days, yet they hadn't been mean either. The bigger woman would help her out in the one class Peridot ever struggled in, literature, while the blonde returned the favor in maths and science. The only other thing Jasper had been helpful with back in school was making Peridot feel safe. _I felt invincible back then. Free of any threat towards me._

Shaking her head again, Peridot looked down at her phone. She debated whether to text Lapis or not. Their conversations had been lively and friendly in the past days, yet today was a quiet one. _She's probably working. I shouldn't bother her._ Sighing, she turned back to her game and replaced the disturbed headphones back on her head. Instead of an online game this time, she opted for a game she could play offline and enjoy alone. _Hmm, this game seems fun,_ she thought to herself.

An hour into the game, she finally looked down at her phone. _One new message._ Blinking, she opened the message.

 _Hey there! Sorry I haven't talked to you all day, I've been at work._

Peridot smiled and tapped out a reply.

 _Hey, don't worry about it! Work comes before me any day._

She hit SEND and went back to playing her game. _My stars I love this soundtrack,_ the blonde thought to herself. Peridot was ripped back to the present when her phone went off again.

 _Now don't discredit yourself. While work is important, you are just as much so._

The blonde felt a deep blush burn her cheeks yet again. She swallowed and made a quick reply and returned to her game.

 _Oh, well, I don't see how I'm as important as something that sustains you and lets you pay for, oh I don't know, everything you need to live?_

After finishing the first chapter of her game, Peridot decided to take a break from her escape out of reality. She stretched and yawned, deciding to get up and walk around. Reaching her kitchen, she opened her fridge and grabbed a bottle of soda. The blonde twisted the cap off and took a deep drink of the sugary substance and then replaced the cap. She grabbed a quick snack and then went to go sit on the small love seat she had. She stretched out on the piece of furniture and flicked her T.V on. Deciding on a movie remake she had seen five times before, Peridot turned her attention to her phone.

 _I can't help if you don't see that, but just know you are. Besides, I get a ton of help paying for everything. Reduced rent, food stamps, you name it. This job really can't support a lot._

The blonde furrowed her brow. _Is Lapis really in that bad of a situation?_ Half-jokingly and half-seriously she sent her reply.

 _Well, if you ever need a place to go my door is open. I don't want someone I like so much to suffer due to a bad job._

Peridot got engrossed in her movie for the sixth time, only taking breaks to check her phone.

 _Well thank you for your offer. I didn't know you like me "So much."_

 _Well, you know. You have to make friends and keep them if they're good. There aren't many people who are like you._

Peridot waited and waited for a reply. When she finally didn't get one, she looked at the time. 12:42 a.m. _Woah where did the day go?_ With a yawn, the blonde headed for her bedroom. On the brink of falling unconscious, she sent Lapis one more text. _For good measure,_ she thought to herself.

 _I'm assuming you fell asleep or something. Regardless, goodnight Lapis. I hope you sleep well._

The blonde smiled as she hit SEND and started to drift off to sleep. _I hope that I can make her life even a little bit better now,_ were her last thoughts before she slipped off to sleep.

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 **A/N: See? I said this chapter would be happy! Anyways, thank you as always for taking your time to read this fic, and be sure to drop a review! Those always inspire me to write more, leading to faster chapter releases!**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: GUYS WE ARE SO CLOSE TO FLUFF AND I CAN'T WAIT. Okay. Well. Maybe this chapter has some fluff in it. Ok. It has a little. Next chapter will have more. Well. Anyways. Onto the story!**

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Lapis woke up the next morning, neck hurting from passing out on her sofa. Groaning, she sat up and stretched. Noticing her phone on her table, she felt bad for falling asleep on Peridot last night. She looked through the last two messages that she had gotten from the blonde. She felt a slight hest reach her cheeks. _Oh my stars she's being so sweet compared to what she used to be._ She caught herself when she was about to text Peridot and told herself not to. _You have to work, you can't stay in a conversation with her while you're handling hot coffee._ Sighing, she put the phone down and got ready for the day.

Halfway through her shift, she saw a familiar blonde walk through the door. Offering a genuine smile, she greeted Peridot.

"Hi there, Peridot! What can I get you?"

Lapis thought she saw a slight darkening of the blonde's cheeks but dismissed the thought. "Can I just get a short espresso again? And also…" the blonde trailed off.

"Of course you can! Now what else did you want?" the bluenette questioned. _Now_ there was a blush on the blonde's face.

"Do you want to maybe catch a meal after you get off of work or something?"

It was Lapis' turn to blush. She stood there, blinking at Peridot.

"Yeah, sure! I get off at six, so does eight work?"

Peridot nodded and the two shared a smile. Lapis made the espresso quick and handed it to the blonde. "There you go, Peri."

The shorter woman waited there, with a five dollar bill in her hand. "How much do I owe you?"

"Don't worry about it," Lapis replied.

Something flashed across Peridot's face as she dropped the five into Lapis' tip jar.

"Remind me to thank you later," the blonde said on her way out the door.

Something inside Lapis ached when she watched the blonde leave. Then it hit her. _Oh my stars did she ask me on a date? No. That can't be it. She can't like me like that! Besides, I don't like her in that way… right?_ The thoughts kept flying through her mind until her co-worker interrupted her.

"That girl was kind of cute," Lapis heard.

"Oh yeah, she is, isn't she?" the bluenette heard herself say.

"Oh my gosh, you're into chicks?" her co-worker questioned.

"I-I mean, I guess… shut up, man!"

She heard a laugh as the topic was dropped. _Stupid Lars,_ she thought to herself. The rest of the work day went by as slowly as it could have gone. After she cleaned and locked up, Lapis hurried home. Her thoughts were flying in and out of her mind, and she felt the familiar feeling of panic creeping into her being. _Why am I so anxious? It's only Peridot._ Only Peridot. The bluenette scoffed. If it had been a week ago, Lapis would have laughed in the short blonde's face and avoid her for the rest of their lives. Now, though, she had seen that Peridot had changed. The blonde had become more caring, more grown up. The bluenette welcomed the changes she saw in her.

While she was lost in thought, she also lost track of time. She was glad she was already ready when she heard a knock at her door. Trying to pace herself, Lapis got up and headed to the door. When she opened it, she was greeted by Peridot who had her hands in her pockets and trying not to look Lapis in the eye. _Is she really blushing again_? The blonde cleared her throat.

"Are you ready to go?"

Lapis held back a chuckle when she heard Peridot's voice crack. "Yeah, I am."

The ride to the small restaurant had been spent in silence, yet a comfortable one. Their destination was different than the one of their first talk, and was much nicer as well. Instead of just purely booths and bar seats, there were actual tables and upholstered chairs. Lapis had noticed Peridot giving her an odd look, and decided to stop marveling at the apparently common interior. The pair found seats and sat down directly across from one another.

The bluenette noticed that Peridot was fidgeting and struggling with something in her head.

"Hey, Peri?"

The blonde's head shot up and she looked at Lapis attentively.

"Y-yeah?"

"You're stressing about something, what is it?" Lapis questioned.

She saw the blonde wince and her shoulders slump a tiny bit. "You could tell, huh?" Peridot replied, trying to change the subject.

Lapis nodded and waited. She watched Peridot clench and unclench her fists, obviously nervous about something. "Hey, if it's that bad, you don't have to tell me," the bluenette assured the blonde.

"What? No, it's not bad. I just…" Peridot trailed off.

"You just?"

Lapis got an incoherent mumble as a response.

"What?"

"I said that I just think you look pretty is all," came the blonde's quick reply.

The taller of the two felt herself blush and allowed a small smile to play across her face.

"You don't look too bad yourself," Lapis said with laughter in her voice.

The blonde did little to hide her embarrassment, and tried to stutter out a reply. When none came, she excused herself. Lapis waited, absentmindedly stirring ice around in her water. When Peridot finally came back, she was much more composed and not at all anxious. The two had a small period of comfortable silence, yet avoided each other's eyes. A waiter finally came over and took their orders. After the silence had been broken, the two broke into friendly and playful banter. The only thing that broke their mirth-filled conversation was the arrival of their food. The two ate their food in silence, with Lapis stealing bits of Peridot's food when the blonde wasn't looking. After they ate and paid the tab, Peridot proposed the idea of a quick walk.

"I would love to Peridot, but it is getting super late," Lapis said.

"Ah, I guess you're right," the blonde said, crestfallen.

"I don't work tomorrow though, so we could plan something for then," the bluenette offered.

"Oh, that would definitely work then," Peridot replied, immediately perking back up.

Lapis smiled and they made plans during the drive back home. After making the plans, the two returned to just talking, topics ranging from favorite movies to the worst thing they had ever eaten. _She has actually really matured since high school. It's actually really nice to be around her. We should do this more often._

"What?" came Peridot's voice.

Lapis blinked a couple of times before she realised that the last part of her thoughts had been said out loud. "I, uh, think we should do this more often. Get to know each other, seeing as we didn't back when we were in school still."

The bluenette looked over at the blonde sitting in the seat next to her. As she raised her eyes from the floor, they made total eye contact. Peridot broke into a smile. "You know what, Lazuli? That would be absolutely fantastic."

* * *

 **A/N: Look, I'm not the _best_ at writing nice and fluffy things, but I tried. I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter, and I hope to see you all again next chapter as well! Thank you for your time!**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Okay. So this isn't fluffy per se, but it does have some developments. Okay. Maybe a big one.**

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Two weeks had passed since they had gone out to dinner, and Peridot couldn't be happier. She felt at home and at peace when she was around Lapis. They talked on almost a daily basis now, and it always made Peridot's heart soar when she heard her phone buzz. The fact that her feelings for the blue-haired wonder had grown was horribly apparent. Lapis was all the blonde could seem to think about, let alone the only person she could talk to.

It was now 11:25 p.m, and the pair were still talking. However, there had been a gradual decline in the coherentness of Lapis' messages, which signaled either sleep deprivation or alcohol consumption. _I'm going to put it on alcohol this time,_ the blonde thought to herself. She remembered that Lapis said it had been a rough day at work and that she had come to an inch of quitting. _She didn't seem too flustered when I went in to see her earlier,_ Peridot reflected. Her thoughts were interrupted when her phone went off in her hand.

 _Peri heeelllppp_

Peridot managed a small smile, despite being irritated. She couldn't deny that she liked it when the woman called her by that nickname. _She's at least comfortable with me now._

 _I could help you with your lack of punctuation and exaggeration of words, but I'm assuming that that isn't at all your problem._

She hit SEND and draped her arm over her eyes. _I really don't want to get out of bed right now,_ she complained inwardly.

 _Yuo should stop with your logics and actualy help me._

A groan escaped her mouth and she sat up.

 _What do you expect me to do? I can't do anything for you when you're drunk._

The blonde really didn't expect a great answer from Lapis, yet it was worth a shot.

 _I dun know, can you bring me like a gatorade or somethin? I'm gonna need it._

Due to the practical reply, the blonde reluctantly agreed. _She at least knows how to take care of herself and how to not have a hangover._ Peridot drove to a small convenience store and bought two bottles of the sports drink, silently cursing the mark ups on the price. After a fairly uneventful drive to Lapis' apartment complex, the blonde got out of her small car and made her way up to her friend's room. _It's starting to get cold out here,_ she mused to herself. _I'm going to need to start bringing a jacket now._

Ceasing her thoughts as she reached the right door, she knocked. While waiting for the door to be opened, she heard a crash and a curse. Before she could worry too much, she was greeted by a smiling Lapis.

"Peri!" the bluenette squealed, throwing her arms around Peridot.

 _Oh my stars she is really out of it!_ The blonde tensed up and gently tried to separate Lapis from her.

"Hey, Lapis. Let's get you to bed, huh?" Peridot offered, making her way into the small apartment.

"But that's no fun," Lapis whined.

 _Yeah, and you being drunk isn't fun either,_ came Peridot's thoughts.

"Neither are hangovers, now come on," the shorter woman said sternly.

Peridot grabbed Lapis gently by the wrist, yet the bluenette wouldn't budge. The blonde dropped her wrist and let out an exasperated sigh. She went to go put the drinks she had bought in the fridge, then made for the door. As she got to the door, she looked back at Lapis. The bluenette had sat down on the couch and had drawn her knees up to her chest again. _Oh no, not again!_ Peridot thought with worry.

"Lapis?" the blonde questioned.

Either Lapis was ignoring her or she was lost in her train of thought. Peridot made her way to the couch and sat beside the bluenette. She reached out her hand and put it on Lapis' shoulder and gave her a gentle shake.

"Lapis?" she tried again, The bluenette's eyes finally shifted to Peridot's. The pair looked at each other for a while, ocean blue eyes meeting forest green. The blonde opened her mouth to say something, but suddenly the unthinkable happened. _Oh my stars,_ was all that Peridot could think while Lapis' lips gingerly met hers. While the kiss was brief, the blonde found herself incapable of words. She covered her face with her hand and stood up. The blonde heard Lapis whisper something, but ignored it.

"I-i have to, uh go," Peridot squeaked. The blonde grabbed her keys and rushed through the door and down the stairs. She struggled with unlocking her car, hands shaking from a concoction of different emotions. After getting it unlocked, she sat in silence for a time. The previous scene had played itself over and over again in her head. _It doesn't make any sense, there was nothing that I did to provoke that out of her!_

Finally calming to the point where she could drive, Peridot started the car. It was a trying task to keep her eyes on the road, much less actually pay attention to her surroundings. On three occasions she nearly rear-ended the person in front of her. When she got to her house, she burst through her door and closed it quietly behind her. She stayed there, with her back on the door, for a few minutes. Once she could think straight again, she made for her kitchen. _What was she thinking?_ the blonde wondered. _A better question would be what was she_ feeling, _actually._ Peridot shook her head. _It's best not to think about that,_ she mused.

The blonde looked through her cupboards until she found a small and shallow pot. She filled it up halfway with warm water and put it on her stove. _I'm not going to be able to sleep without something._ Next she sifted through the cupboards again to find a small box of assorted teas. _Let's see, chamomile or… you know what? It doesn't matter. I don't even like tea!_ Picking the first bag she could get her fingers on, Peridot haphazardly tossed it into the pot of water. _At least it'll relax me._

The short woman waited impatiently for her tea to finish steeping, wiggling the bag around to attempt to make it go faster. Once it was finally to her liking, she poured it into a large mug and took a drink. She hissed in pain when the drink burned her throat and tongue, cursing herself for not waiting. With a slight bit more patience, she waited for the tea to stop producing clouds of steam. When it got to a suitable temperature, Peridot downed the mug as fast as she could. Sighing in relief, the blonde set the mug in her sink and went to her bedroom. Looking around, she got a pair of shorts adorned with green alien heads and changed into them, preparing for sleep. As she fell onto her bed, she felt her phone go off. With a glance at the screen, Peridot turned her phone off. _Oh, Lapis. I really don't want to talk to you right now,_ were her last thoughts before the blonde fell asleep.

* * *

 **A/N: Okokok. So it's not fluffy. I am just completely incapable of writing fluff. Yet, thank you for reading this far!**

 **Anyways. As you may have noticed, it has been a bit since I have put up a new chapter. I'm going through a ton of emotional issues and have lost the motivation to write further than a chapter ahead. I hate putting up any chapters when I haven't written more than two chapters ahead. Why? No idea.**

 **Tl;Dr: updates are gonna be slower. I'm just not motivated to do anything more than the basics to live at this point.**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Ayyy, look who's back! It's me! With two new chapters in one day? Oh my! This is going to be intense!**

* * *

Lapis groaned and put her hand on her head. _Man this headache is killer! How much did I even have to drink last night?_ Groaning again, she opened her eyes and looked around her room. She noticed an unopened bottle of Gatorade on her bedside table. _When did I get that?_ Lapis wondered. _Oh, right Peridot._ The bluenette smiled at the thought of her blonde friend. _I'm glad she took care of me last night._ Her smiled fell when she thought more about the previous night. _Oh. No. Oh my stars what did I do?!_ She sat up a little too fast and groaned in pain again. _I drank too much for one_ , she thought, putting her hand to her head again. After the spike of pain faded, the bluenette reached for the drink and her phone.

Lapis turned her phone on and twisted the beverage open. Waiting for her phone to finish booting up she drank deeply from the bottle, downing about half in one sitting. When her phone was ready to go, the bluenette quickly checked her conversation with Peridot. The last message of the night had been "Peri, I'm sorry. Don't hate me." A knot formed in Lapis' stomach. _Oh my stars what if she does hate me? What if she never talks to me again?_ The "What ifs" kept spinning through her mind. _Damn it Lapis! You idiot! Any chance you ever had, you tossed it out of the window!_ Tears started to well up in her eyes. Pressing her palms against her eyes, the bluenette took a deep breath. _Getting upset won't do anything to help, you know that!_ Shaking, she hit COMPOSE MESSAGE and slid her keyboard up.

 _Oh my stars, I am so sorry for last night. I'd understand completely if you never want to talk to me again. I have no idea what got into me last night, I'm just so sorry._

The message was sent and Lapis fell back on her bed. _Thank the stars that I don't have to work today._ Her mood continued to sour as she reflected on her work day. The constant teasing from Lars after Peridot had come in for coffee on top of a rude customer complaining about nothing had really ruined her day. She felt her anger rise once more and dug her fingernails into her palm. _You can't do anything about it now, idiot._ Before she could hurt herself, she heard her phone buzz on the small table. Lapis merely stared at it for a few moments before picking it up.

 _It's fine. You were drunk._

The curt reply did nothing to help how the bluenette was feeling. She didn't have to hear Peridot to detect the cool tone of the message.

 _Peridot, can we at least talk about it? Nothing ever gets fixed by silence._

Lapis rolled over onto the stomach and rested her head on her arms. _At least I'm making an effort._ She sighed and checked her phone. _No reply yet_ , she thought to herself as she reached for the sports drink again. Uncapping the bottle, she took a quick drink of it. A twinge of pain shot through the front of her head. The bluenette reached over to her bedside table once more and opened the drawer, taking a small bottle of Ibuprofen out. She popped a couple of the small tablets into her hand and swallowed them with another swig of her drink. After replacing the bottle of the pain reducers, she waited for a reply.

A good twenty minutes had passed until she finally got a short response.

 _Go ahead and talk about it._

Feeling her heart sink and tears sting her eyes again, Lapis resisted the urge to hurl her phone at the nearest wall. Instead, she controlled herself and typed out a reply.

 _Well, I can tell you that this won't work half as well if you don't talk to me as well, but I will talk about it. I guess that in my drunken state I decided that I felt lonely and I couldn't stand it anymore. Then you were there and cared about me so I felt too much emotion at once and acted on it. I'm sorry for that._

Something in her told her to hesitate before she sent the message. _You can't keep just denying your feelings. It doesn't work like that!_ Not wanting to re-do the message, she sent it regardless of the warring emotions in her heart. Instead of the twenty minute wait she had received earlier, it was a much shorter three minutes wait this time.

 _Are you telling me that it was based solely off of your drunk consciousness that you kissed me? That you only did that because you were hurting and I was simply there?_

Lapis winced. That wasn't it at all, yet she didn't want to admit it. There were too many "What ifs" that came with the thought of admission of her feelings.

 _Peridot. That could be a huge cause for it, but it's not the entire reason._

Her heart was in her throat as she hit the SEND button. The bluenette's hands were shaking. _What if she doesn't catch on and I have to tell her outright? What if she knows but doesn't feel the same way? Wait, how do_ I _even feel about her?_ Her thoughts were interrupted when she felt the small phone go off.

 _Then what is?_

Swallowing, Lapis ran her fingers over the small keys on her phone. _Oh my stars, should I tell her?_ Making up her mind, she plunked out a response.

 _I don't know exactly. Look, after talking with you so much my feelings for you went from complicated to even more complicated and I have no idea what I'm feeling anymore._

It wasn't the whole truth, but it wasn't all a lie either. Lapis sent the text and screamed into one of her pillows. _You screwed up! You screwed up big time!_ Her phone went off again and she sat up to reply this time.

 _Lapis, you honestly just articulated what I've been feeling for a few weeks now._

The bluenette sat there, speechless.

 _What do you mean?_

It was her turn to ask questions.

 _I mean that I have no idea what my feelings are for you right now. Are they bad? No. Are they good? Possibly._

Lapis felt her heart start to soar again. _It wasn't a total rejection,_ came a hopeful thought.

 _I'm glad you understand how I feel, and I'm glad you share those feelings._

The bluenette hoped that Peridot wouldn't go back to questioning about the previous night. Those hopes were shattered.

 _Lapis can I ask you something? Actually, I don't mean to be rude but, I am going to ask anyways. If you could re-do last night, would you change anything?_

Lapis stared at the message. _Damn, that's a hard question. Would I?_ A sad chuckle escaped her.

 _I would have drank the Gatorade then instead of waiting until this morning._

For some reason, the bluenette felt lighter. Happier as well.

 _So are you saying you enjoyed that kiss?_

Lapis' happiness took a nosedive.

 _I would hope I did, I don't really remember how I felt._

She started imagining the extent of replies she could possibly get, feeling her heart sink more at some and blushing furiously at others.

 _That's a shame._

Lapis blinked at the reply.

 _What? Why?_

The blonde didn't reply for a good ten minutes. _I hope I didn't scare her away._ Her phone going off was a sign of the opposite.

 _Because it was a rather enjoyable experience._

Heat rushed to Lapis' cheeks. The largest grin broke across her face, and she couldn't stop it.

 _I'm glad one of us could enjoy it. But if you liked it, why did you leave?_

She felt her smile diminish as she sent the text.

 _Because you were drunk. I just can't handle people when they're intoxicated._

The reply made Lapis feel a slight bit better.

 _That's the only reason?_

 _Well…_

Lapis sat up straight at the answer.

 _Well?_

 _Nevermind, it's nothing._

The bluenette groaned in frustration.

 _Whatever you say, P-dot._

 _It's because, truthfully, I was afraid of where all of it would go. You were so out of it and I was scared that you wouldn't remember. Maybe that you would regret it all. I don't know. I feel like I'm being stupid._

Lapis smiled. _Look at that, she cares about me._

 _Peridot, you're not being stupid. If you think you were being stupid last night, you're wrong on that as well. You're being kind and thoughtful, and you were last night too. Thank you._

 _Well, you're welcome I guess._

It was obvious that the pair had run out of things to say to each other. Finally not focused on the blonde, Lapis felt a dull throb in her head once more. She sighed and looked at the time. _It's only ten. I could definitely get some more sleep._ Laying back down, she pulled her phone out to send one more text to Peridot.

 _Well, Peri, I'm going to fall back asleep. This hangover is really killing me. If you need me, I'll get back to you in a few hours._

The bluenette placed her phone on the table and rolled over to face away from it. With a yawn and a stretch, she slipped back into unconsciousness.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Alright, so, last chapter was just pretty much build-up to this one! A bit of story development and all that. You may notice that this chapter is longer than most, and that a pretty little icon was added to the details of the story. What does that mean? That this is the last chapter, of course! (There'll be more notes on this at the end of the chapter, like always.)**

* * *

Peridot was left alone with her thoughts and feelings. _Why couldn't I tell her why I feel_? The thought echoed in her mind. _It was the_ best _time to do it. Why didn't I?_ A heat blossomed in her cheeks as she thought about the events of the past twenty-four hours. _She kissed me and then she admitted she doesn't know how she feels about me._ The blonde groaned.

"This doesn't help anything!" she exclaimed to nothing in particular.

She rubbed her eyes and sighed. _At least it's all a start._ The blonde stopped. _Wait, a start to_ what? Peridot sat up from the lying position she had been in. There was no denying the fact that she liked Lapis. _Or do I like the idea of her?_ The blonde shook her head. _None of this is making any sense at all. This is worse than a box full of loose cables._ The blonde thought about a box full of cords and shuddered.

Peridot glanced down at her phone. _It's only ten? It feels so much later than that._ She sighed, deciding it was best to actually get up. The blonde got up and rolled out of bed, glancing around for any clothes she wanted to wear for the day. _I should probably clean around the house today,_ she mused, riffling through the small pile of clothes on a lone chair in her room. Sighing, she gave into the fact that she would procrastinate on the small task yet again. Pushing the thought to the back of her mind, Peridot slid into an over-sized green hoodie and some simple jeans.

Feeling much more awake, she wandered into her small bathroom and fixed the jumbled mess known as her hair. After the blonde got her hair spiked appropriately, she headed to her living room and dropped down on the couch. She reached for the remote to her T.V., and then grabbed the controller for her console. After turning both on, Peridot tuned out the outside world for a good two hours. The blonde finally returned to reality once she had beaten a boss that kept her full attention for half of the time she had been engulfed in the game. _Who knew it would take that many attempts?_

Peridot got up to stretch her legs and noticed that she was missing an important device. _Oh hell, where did I put my phone?_ The blonde got up and made her way to her room. She saw that her phone had been tossed to the floor when she had gotten out of bed. She bent over to pick it up, and noticed that the notification LED was flashing. She flicked the screen on, and saw that Lapis had sent her a text half an hour ago.

 _Hey, Peridot. Can I ask you a question?_

The blonde took a deep breath. _She just wakes up and this is the first thing she says to me?_ With slightly shaky hands, she sent a reply.

 _Yeah, go ahead and shoot._

Peridot's mind wandered to thousands of possibilities of what Lapis could possibly ask. Her fleeting thoughts were shooed away with the buzz of her phone in her hand.

 _Are you okay with what happened?_

That was definitely one of the worse things that Lapis could have asked. Peridot's emotions washed over her like a wave and they lingered there, like a web that had settled over her skin. _Am I?_ The lone thought was the first and only thing that came to her mind. After a beat, it was almost like something had taken over her body to write the response.

 _Well, I would much rather prefer to answer this in person for a lengthier explanation. Long story short, though, yes. I am._

She looked down at the reply she had formulated. _Oh hell, what did I just get myself into?_ Her phone buzzed once more.

 _Well, when are you free?_

 _Whenever, to be truthful. I don't have any plans._

She wasn't lying, the best thing she was going to do today is attempt a raid boss in a game with some friends later. _They can wait. This is more important._

 _How about around three?_

Peridot glanced at the clock. _It gives me time to get ready and stuff._

 _Uh, yeah, that works._

Setting her phone down, she felt her warring emotions bubble up to the surface again. One part anger, one part joy, and the last part being fear, all colliding into one sensation: confusion. _Do I want this? Do I even_ feel _anything for her? Okay, yes I do, but do I want to pursue it?_ Thought after thought flicked through her mind. With a frustrated groan, she ran her hand through the spiky mess of her hair. _I'll figure this out along the way, then._

Peridot heaved herself from the couch and made her way to her bathroom once more. She turned the shower knobs and was welcomed by a squeal of resistance from the handle. _Great, now that needs fixing too._ Thought pushed to the back of her mind, Peridot took her shower quickly. From there, she got dressed in a nicer pair of jeans and a green check shirt. After getting clothed once more, she ran a comb through her hair and decided to spike it once more. After all her hard work, she glanced at her phone to look at the time. 2:04. _It took me that long to get ready?_ The blonde sighed. _I don't have any time to finish anything I wanted to do!_ Her frustration melted away when she remembered the reason why she had done any of it. A smile played at the edges of her lips as she thought about Lapis.

After being caught up in her thoughts, the time quickly slipped past her. Before she knew it, it was fifteen till three. _Oh my stars! I'm going to be late!_ She rushed to grab her keys and flew out of the door. After descending the stairs two at a time (and almost falling flat on her face many times), she rushed to her small car. Once outside, she got further flustered by the weather. Large raindrops fell from the sky, quickly drenching her. With a disgruntled sigh, her fingers fumbled with the keys and lock, rushing to get it open. With a resounding _click_ she unlocked the door and practically lept into the car to get out of the elements. She was about to slam her keys into the ignition when she noticed how much she had been over-reacting. She chuckled slightly and sat back, trying to relax. _Imagine driving like that in this weather, that would have been a disaster!_

After a few seconds to calm herself, Peridot started on her drive to Lapis'. She arrived at a few minutes past three, and silently cursed herself. She made her way up the stairs and to the bluenette's door. She knocked on the door and patiently waited for the other woman to answer the door. A few moments passed and then Peridot was finally greeted by Lapis. The blonde mustered a bashful smile, and waved her hand.

"Hey," she said.

Lapis blushed very slightly, and waved her hand back. "Hi," she said in reply.

After a beat of silence, Peridot finally was able to say more than a lousy greeting. "So, uh, do you want me to come in, or did you want to go somewhere, or…?" she trailed off.

Lapis clearly hadn't thought about that either, telling by the way she scrambled for an answer. "You could come in, if you want, or we could go for a drive or something, maybe a walk."

The blonde bit back a chuckle. "Uh, Lapis? You do know it's raining cats and dogs out there, right?"

The other woman blushed a bit more. "I know, I just like being outside in the rain."

Peridot scoffed. "Well I hope you don't mind, but I'd rather not get a cold from being outside in the rain."

Something flickered in Lapis' eyes as she chuckled. "You do know that's a myth, right? You get sick because you actually get infected with something," she said with a defiant smirk.

The blonde rolled her eyes. "Well I still don't like getting soaked by water falling from the sky. That and it's cold! I would rather not freeze today."

Lapis, seeing that she had clearly lost, stepped aside and waved Peridot inside. Peridot smiled and settled herself on the couch. Her smile soon faded when Lapis came and sat down by her, expression serious.

"We need to talk about last night, don't we?"

The blonde sighed. "We already did, don't you remember that?" She grimaced when her tone was more hostile than she had intended.

The bluenette shook her head. "I do remember that, yes. It was this morning, how could I not? That wasn't really _talking_ about it though. You should know that."

"Okay, then what else is there to talk about? We established that it wasn't a good or bad event, that you were drunk and you couldn't control your feelings and-"

"No." Lapis interrupted. "That isn't even close to what I said, and you know that. You tell me what you want to talk about though, you were the one who wanted this."

Peridot's mind went blank. "Well, it's what I interpreted it as. How am I the only one who wanted this though? You brought it up via text and then arranged for this time and everything!"

"Okay, then let me ask you that question again. Are you okay with what happened?" Her tone was level and she seemed to be calm and collected. The total opposite of Peridot.

"I… Well. Er. Like I said, yes I am. You already knew that I share those same complicated feelings though, and vice versa. Actually I'm kind of not okay with it, but that's only because you were intoxicated. Many times people have gotten themselves into a commitment they didn't want because they weren't sober. I guess I'm afraid that you would have ended up as one of those people. So that's why I'm kind of not okay with it, and I know that I'm not making much sense, but you have to believe me. Well, believe that that's the only reason why I'm not okay with that. Okay, maybe that's not the _only_ reason, but it's the biggest. There are many reasons why-" she rambled until Lapis cut her off.

"Peridot. One, you're talking so fast that I can hardly keep up with you. Two, you're just going off and ranting now. That's all fine and dandy, don't get me wrong, but _please_ try to stay on track. What did you mean by 'that's not the only reason' though? There's obviously something else wrong."

Peridot's eyes widened. _Way to go, Peridot. You already managed to screw this up!_ The blonde took a breath and cleared her throat. "What I mean by that was that there's another reason I still have some doubts about last night."

Lapis continued to look at her until she continued. "I guess that reason would be because that I don't know what I feel for you. Well, okay, I guess I do. Coming to terms with it though is a totally different thing. That's mostly because I don't know what you feel for me. I know it's a stupid reason, but…" she trailed off when she saw the bluenette giving her a strange look. "You okay Lapis?"

Lapis chuckled quietly. "I thought it was obvious what I feel about you," she whispered.

Peridot swallowed nervously and felt heat rise up to her cheeks. "It is?"

Another bittersweet laugh escaped Lapis' lips. "At least I thought so," she replied, looking Peridot in the eyes.

The blonde stared back at her, drinking in the beauty of her azure eyes. "Hey, Lapis?" she asked, the look of wonder never leaving her face.

"Hm?" came the hummed reply.

"Is it okay if I do this?"

Peridot never gave Lapis a chance to reply. It was fast, and a bit more meaningful than last night's short display of affection. When Peridot brought her lips away from Lapis', she scrambled backwards. "I-I'm sorry," she muttered, rubbing the back of her neck. "I have no idea where that came from."

Her thoughts were interrupted when she felt a warm hand on her arm. She glanced up and saw Lapis looking at her with a slight smile. "Peridot, it's okay," were the last words off her lips before they collided with Peridot's again.

* * *

 **A/N: Okay, so as I stated earlier, this is the last chapter. I apologize for the abrupt ending. I figured a half-worked ending was better than none! I'll do my best to get more and more short-stories up, and who knows? They might follow the plot of this story. They might not. I'll mostly be basing my writings off of prompts though, so there's that. If you have an idea for one, go ahead and send it to me via Tumblr (the blue hell-site) thesparklingnoodles, or send me a PM on here! (If you go with the latter, I apologize if I get to it late, my email stopped notifying me of updates.)**

 **I would have worked more on this story, but my hours for work have been just increasing and I've been sleeping for like 12 hours a day (it's not healthy, I know) to make up for work and other events.**

 **Anyways, as always, thank you for reading this story! And if you've stuck with me all the way, I apologize for the delay in these two chapters! Life just came up and wrecked my writing schedules and all. Be sure to drop a review or favorite this story, or just go on with your day! (Although reviews are what fuel my writing ego and make me want to write more haha.)**

 **As for everyone who left "I hope things get better" reviews and sent me messages, thank you! Things have indeed been getting better, bit by bit. You guys are all wonderful. Thank you for sticking with me through this story!**


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